The Ten Question Questionnaire
by GamerRCL0505
Summary: The Interview Core asks Aperture employees a series of 10 questions, with interesting and not so interesting answers. Answers with tragic consequences.
1. Stephen Wheatley

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The interview core is based off of Machinma's The Underground Series.**

**The Ten Question Questionnaire**

Name: Stephen Wheatley

1.) What is one Embarrassing Situation you have been in?

"Well," Steve started, "What kind of embarrassing situation? Like mortified, or just a little shame? Or-"

"Any." The Interview Core interrupted.

"Ok then. Well, there was this one time in the lab…I had been working on the personality cores, when Chell had come in."

"_Hello luv, can I ask why you're here?" She strolled over to me, pushing me back. "Um, luv w-what are you doing? He he-he. Uh" I laughed nervously. Chell pushed her lips to mine forcefully as we snogged. I must've leaned back on the button to the monitor, because the red recording light starting flashing, and went unknown to us. A few minutes after this however, and Craig popped his head in._

"_Fact: You two are on camera," Craig chuckled, "And we can all see you." Craig smirked while pointing at the monitor. My head snapped to the side to see said monitor, while Chell got up and walked out bashfully, a faint blush creeping up from her chest. _

"_He-he he-he he… Oh bloody hell." I muttered._

"That was a pretty embarrassing day," Wheatley started, "Matter of fact I don't know why I told you this. This isn't going to be broadcasted or anything, right?" He asked quickly.

"No. But it will be published in the North Michigan News- Letter." The Interview Core stated, "Thank you for your time, and please send in the next employee for interviewing." He waved Stephen away. "Oh, by the way, that story was pretty funny, you should consider getting yourself a pod cast."


	2. Craig Underwood

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core is based off of Machinma's The Underground Series.**

**The Ten Question Questionnaire**

Name: Craig Underwood

2.) What is your least favorite thing? Why?

"Well," Craig cleared his throat, "I've always hated paradoxes. They're just too illogical sometimes. I can't stand them."

"Thank you." The Interview Core said. "Wait, was that all?" He asked, incredulous.

"Yes, that is all I had to say to you." Craig said Matter-of-Fact like.

"You are probably the most boring person I have ever met, and I've met the Ego Core. Boy was he a jerk, so stuck-up all the time." The Interview Core said. He pushed a button, and the pink eyed Fact Droid was carried out of the room by a mechanical claw.

"Fact: The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days." He cried out before he was pulled out of the room entirely.

**A/N Sorry this was so short, couldn't think of a question at first, than I couldn't think of a good answer from Craig.**


	3. Rick Jones

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core is based off of Machinma's The Underground Series.**

**The Ten Question Questionnaire**

Name: Rick Jones B^)

3.) What is the craziest thing you have ever done?

"Well, it all started one afternoon." Rick started.

"_I had been running through this temple, very adventurously might I add, when I came across this pedestal. There was a small golden idol resting on the top. I grabbed a small sack of sand, and cautiously switched the items. Then I-" _Rick was cut off.

"Rick?" The Interview Core said.

"Yep."

"That's the beginning scene of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc." He said.

"Oh, well I got plenty more stories where that came from." Rick said, smiling brightly.

"Oh, do you mean the mind of Stephen Spielberg?" The Interview Core joked.

"Ok, so there I was, about to be buried alive by snakes. 'Snakes' I said, 'Why'd it have to be snakes?' Than I grabbed my whip and swung out the room, with my hat on my head, and a lady, almost as pretty as Chell, in my arm." Rick said quite boastfully. "Than out of nowhere a giant floating crystal skull came out of this weird temple with people who were made into human sacra-"

"That's it, you're out." The Interview Core interupted as a claw threw Rick out of the room (Quite literally) as he hummed the Indiana Jones theme.

**A/N Yeah… Well if you guys like it, I like it. And to be honest, I hope you guys love it, because I'm quite proud of my dedication to my fics lately.**


	4. Neil McCormick

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core and Anthony is based off of Machinima's The Underground Series.**

Name: Neil McCormick

"Hey, Anthony! Where's that space kid I'm supposed to be interviewing?" The Core called out to the defective turret.

"I don't know." The turret said, dejectedly.

"Quit your whining! That's why we're stuck interviewing the people of Aperture and not the big time celebrities like Katy Perry, Derek Jeter or Emily Deschanel!"

"Weeeeeeeeeeeee!" Neil shouted from the new pipe in the little room. "Hi! I was in space."

"Hello, and welcome to the new Underground Interviewing room. I even redirected that pipe from the incinerator. So who are you?" The Interview Core asked.

"I'm Neil... The SPACE CADET!" He was bouncing in his seat with anticipation. "Am I going to space, I am right? Right?" He looked worried when there was no answer.

"Um, no. You're not." The Core said. "But I have a question fo-"

"NOOOOOOOOOO SPACEY, NOOOOOOOOOO! How could you do this to us?" Neil screamed in a high-pitched voice. "I loved space like it was my son! Even though I'm only 11!"

"Calm down kid, you'll get to go to space." The Interview Core said quickly.

"Oh, ok." Neil said. "So what was your question? Was it about space? Oh, lemme guess, it was about, wait for it… The MOON! Right?" He chattered on excitedly.

"Yeah…" The core trailed off. "What was the most fun you've ever had?"

"In space?" Neil said hopefully.

"Ok, sure."

"Ok. So once, before I was turned into a core, I had gone on a Field Trip to the Kennedy Space Center. The only reason I went on this one was because I got sick for the last one all the way to the Oregon Coast Museum. In Oregon!" He paused, catching his breath. "Well my mom let me go on this one because she felt bad. So my 5th grade class went and we saw tons of cool stuff. I even went in this thing where you sit in it and it spins around and around really fast. It was so cool, I almost barfed. Well anyways after that, we got lunch and I had SPACE Ice cream. Can you believe it? Ice cream… From SPACE! So cool. Anyways, after lunch, there was this one kid, Will, who snuck into the Rocket Garden, and actually got in one of the rockets. It wasn't dangerous, because they weren't operational, but it was still cool. And then on the way home we-."

"Are you done yet?" The Core asked, "Because quite frankly, I'm getting pretty bored."

"Bored? BORED? How can you be bored of space? It's unheard of. It's like GLaDOS saying she's bored of science!" Neil exaggerated.

"Yeah, bye." He said. "Claw, take him out." The huge mechanical claw came out from the ceiling and dragged Neil kicking and screaming.

"I love you SPACE!" He shouted as he was heaved into the pipe.

"Glad that's over with." The Interview Core muttered under his breath.

**A/N: Ok so, really should be writing an essay now, but who cares? This, so far, is my best chapter. I just love the Space Core. I always thought this was how he fell in love with space. Review please. One less planet will be proven to be a dwarf if you do.**


	5. Doug Rattman

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core and Anthony is based off of Machinima's The Underground Series.**

Name: Doug Rattman

"Well, Mr. Rattman, I have a question for you. What is the most fun you have ever had?" The Core asked.

"Pineapples! Hats! The Bacon knows where the answer lies…" Doug rambled on.

"Riiight. Ok then, continue?" The Core said, clearly confused with the situation. "Anthony what's wrong with this guy?"

"The cube says don't trust the queen, the angel will save us." Doug said, creepily.

"The cube, it called me to the walls, the dens, _my _dens. After the queen went mad, the green fog, it killed them. _All _of them. Except me. The cube saved me. It knew of the downfall of the company, of the scientists, even of Johnson. It knew. And now, it knows what will happen, to _Her_." He said, the eeriness of the whole thing was getting to the defective Core.

"What is it? What's going to happen to Her? Will it affect us? Wait, what am I talkin' about? You're a crazy person." The Core realized. "So, what's your favorite thing?" The Core said.

"The Cube. My Cube." Doug muttered. "It will save me…"

"Ok claw, do your thing!" The Interview Core shouted. Before the claw could reach the schizophrenic engineer, he rewired the panels on the wall and escaped. He ran through, as the sphere caught a last glimpse of the slight limp, and the corner of the cube, he was utterly confused as to what happened.

"Anthony, did he just run away? Cause I think he did." The Core asked, dumbstruck.

"I think he did too." The turret said in a melancholy voice.

**A/N: Well, I found out, I am NOT good at writing from the perspective of a crazy person. It's hard to write as Doug as well.**


	6. The Template Turret

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core and Anthony is based off of Machinima's The Underground Series.**

Name: The Template Turret

"Hello, Template Turret, and welcome to, The Underground!" The Core exclaimed. "It's good to have a fellow machine down here, I've been stuck with those stupid humans, and their greasy fingers, smudging my optic. Ughh, ick. Anyways, I would like to ask you, what was the most painful experience you've ever had?"

"Hello?" The turret called out.

"Yes hi, can you answer my question?" He asked.

"…"

"Ummm."

"…"

"Sooo, are you going to say anything? Or are you just, what?" The Core murmured.

"…"

"Ok then…"

"Hello?"

"Yeah… Um Anthony, do something! She's kind of freaking me out."

"I don't know how to stop her…" Anthony started. "Hey, shiny turret, how are you?"

"Hello?" She started. "…"

"Maybe if we're really quiet, we can sneak her out of here. Psst, hey, claw, take her out of here." The Interview Core whispered. The claw slowly and quietly picked up the turret.

"Hello?" The Template Turret called as she was tossed back up the incinerator chute.

**A/N: Well, that was fun to write, I just hope you enjoy it. Thanks to my loyal fan base: Population: 2. ;)**


	7. The Companion Cube

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core and Anthony is based off of Machinima's The Underground Series. And you know what, too my 2 loyal readers, of a total of 6 reviews, thank you. You two have actually inspired me too write these stories, and it's great to know my idols actually like my stories. Thanks again.**

Name: Companion Cube

"Hello, you strange and dumb people of Aperture." The Core said cheerfully. "I mean really, you stay here even though this place is a death trap. If I were you, I would have left years ago. Sadly, I have no appendages. I don't even have two optics, I have one. Anyways, please welcome, the Companion Cube!" You can hear the fake applause coming from somewhere in the house.

The cube with the pink heart falls from the pipe and lands with a small thud in one of the chairs. The cube has a small pink note attached to the top that says _'Hello, I will not stab you in the back.'_

"I guess that's a good thing. Right?" The metal ball concluded. "Um, so. Companion Cube, what was the worst thing to happen to you?"

The pink paper attached to it's top suddenly said _'When I was in Test Chamber 17, a female test subject came around. When she picked me up, I would think things like: I love you, and she would nod and smile and hug me. She used me as a stepping stool, which I suggested, than she used me as a shield against the yellow flashy orbs. That was fun, they tickled when they hit me. Well, she used me for a lot of other things too. But all this made the bad thing horrible. She started becoming attached to me. But at the end of the test, She said things to her. She told her that shoe would have to incinerate me. The lady just grabbed me and sat in a corner, not moving. But than She told her more things, and the lady put me down, in front of the chute. Than she walked over to the button, and pushed it. I started thinking of how I wished I could cry. But before she burned me, she kissed my heart, and mouthed I love you. Then, she chucked me into the incinerator._'

"Aww." The Interview Core sniffled. "What a sad story. Don't you think so Anthony?"

"Yeah, worse than my only daughter dying. She was passed through an Emancipation Grid." Anthony sighed depressingly. "Poor Jane…"

"Yeah poor Jan- Wait, how did all that writing appear on that note? Before it only said on sentence. You don't even have a speaker or hands. Who wrote that?" He said, suddenly suspicious of the cube.

'_That's for me to know, and you to find out. Besides, you have bigger things to worry about. Much bigger things indeed.' _The cube's note said.

"Ooh, ominous. I like it! Wait, you and that rat guy mentioned something was going to happen soon. Can you predict the future? Is that how he knew?" The Core asked quickly.

'_Beware of the turrets.'_

**A/N: Oh, is this going to be bigger? Is it, perhaps, Conspiracy? Is it just ramblings of a madman and his cube, or something much bigger? Review and you get a free cake. That's not a lie… Add to favorites and you get yourself some lemon icing to top it off! Oh and PM me if you think you know what's going to happen.**


	8. Jerry The NanoBot

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core and Anthony is based off of Machinima's The Underground Series. **

Name: Jerry The Nano-Bot

"Hello?" The Core called out, "Anyone there? Anthony I thought you said he was scheduled to come here today."

"I did, and he is here." Anthony replied glumly. "Hi Jerry. How are you?"

"I'm fine thank you very much. At least someone sees me." He squeaked. "So what did you want, defective core?"

"Excuse me, who are you calling a defect? At least I can be seen by the naked eye!" The Interview Core argued.

"I'm in this chair." Jerry called out.

"Oh, well I'm going to just drop it. So what is the hardest thing you have ever done?"

"You mean besides look at you? I'm joking. So the hardest thing I have ever done… Well, it was after that crazy lady killed Her. While she was dead we did our best to maintain the facility, but it was to hard to do without any orders from Her. But then, the lady and that blue-eyed idiot turned her back on. She gave us the order to clean up. It took us months to get it to a fraction of the way it is now. And it was going good until he took over. Messed up the whole lab. Everything was on fire or being crushed because of his stupid 'Death' traps. The only thing they ever killed were his brain cells. And you know he was actually nice, until he knocked off that girder on my management rails. Man, that one was a total klutz. You know, I lost some good bots that day. " He paused, "Well anyways, about an hour later, the place gets all dark and evil-like. Andy and Darren were shaking in their cases. Wimps. Well another ten minutes pass, and we here him laughing, saying something about that lady not being to crawl out of that hole."

"Wait are you talking about that Stephen guy? That guy tells pretty funny stories." The Interview Core interrupted.

"Yeah, I think so. Well anyways, almost a week passes, the place is about to explode, and half my crew self destructed out of fear. So the lady comes back, with a potato. So she's doing his tests, when he brings them right to him, crazy fool. So they start fighting, bombs are going off, tubes are breaking, and panels are catching on fire. Then there is a whole in the ceiling. _MY _ceiling. And then, she puts a portal, on the _MOON_. Who does that? I'll tell you who, a crazy person. So you want to know the absolute worst part?"

"Yeah, why not." The Core said, half way between total sarcasm, and enthusiasm.

"_I_ had to clean it. _Me_, all alone, with no crew. _None_, they all overheated and burned out like a flame."

**A/N: Well, this took a turn somewhere between my head and the document, but it's even better than I had imagined. As soon as Jerry started talking, he turned into a total… Yeah. Anyways, very fun and surprisingly hard to write this one. And to anyone who can spot the reference, add a muffin to the list. ;)**


	9. The Oracle Turret

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core and Anthony is based off of Machinima's The Underground Series.**

Name: The Oracle Turret

"Welcome back to another episode of The Underground!" Fake applause filled the room. "Thank you, thank you. Tonight we bring you our special guest, the Oracle Turret!" The Core called out. More fake applause went off.

"I'm different." The Turret said melodiously. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, I guess." He said.

"Get mad!" It chimed.

"At who, Anthony? Because he's my best friend." He laughed.

"Don't make lemonade!"

"How would I?" He asked, "Ok whatever. What is the coolest thing you have ever heard?"

"Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the Earth and pecked by birds."

"Oh, well I guess it's kind of cool-" The Core was interrupted.

"It won't be enough."

"What won't be enough for what?" He asked. "What's going on here?"

"The answer is beneath us." It said eerily.

"To what?"

"Her name is Caroline. Remember that."

"Who's name? H-her?" If he had a throat, he probably would've gulped. "Why are you saying this?"

"That's all I can say." It said.

"About what? Why can't you say anymore?" He asked frantically, "Will She not let you? W-who are you?"

"Thank you." It murmured as it shut down. The huge mechanical claw then pulled it up back into the incineration pipe.

"Good bye!" Anthony called. "Well, she seems nice." He rotated to look at the Small sphere. "Are you ok? Your casing is shaking."

"I'm f-fine. Thanks for the concern, though." He lied, a slight quiver in his voice.

**A/N: Well, our story's almost to an end. I think I'll make this lead up to the last one.**


	10. The Underground Season Finale

**Authors Note: I don't own Portal 2. This is going off the idea in which all the characters were once in Aperture. By the way, each question will be answered by one of the major characters… Enjoy! Oh one more thing, The Interview Core and Anthony is based off of Machinima's The Underground Series.**

"Hello, and welcome back to the Season Finale of The Underground." The Interview Core started. "As you know, for the Season Finale, we bring back our previous guests. Well, today we have Stephen Wheatley, Craig Underwood, Rick Jones, Neil McCormick, Doug Rattman, the Template Turret, the Companion Cube, Jerry the Nano-Bot, and the Oracle Turret."

"We've all heard an 'Interesting' anecdote from each of them, and now we will just watch random security footage clips, make jokes, and laugh at people in Aperture. We'll start with-" The Core was cut off.

"Hello," The lilting mechanical voice said, "Is that Dangerous, Mute Lunatic with you? No. Too bad… Looks like she's going to miss out on her old friend Deadly Neurotoxin. At least some of you will suffer. Good bye… I hope this brings you all excruciating pain."

"Oh no… She's going to kill us. She's going to poison us and kill us!" Stephen started freaking out.

"Oh, by the way, Turret Primary Function ON." GLaDOS cut in.

"Target Acquired." As the Template Turret locked on target, Anthony somehow launched himself in front of the fragile humans.

"Noooooooooo!" The Interview Core screamed out. "Anthony!" As the bullets hit the poor defective turret, he blew up. "But you were my best employee! I'll miss you!"

"The Cube knows where to go." Doug screeched, racing to the old panel he had rewired before. He tugged a little on the loose wall, and propped it open with the companion cube. "Follow the voice!"

The others each grabbed one of the AIs and dragged them through the make-shift hall. Doug in the lead with his cube, followed by Stephen with the Interview Core, Craig with Jerry the Nano-Bot in one hand, Rick with the Oracle Turret, and bringing up the rear was Neil.

"The Queen has snapped right after her nap." Doug chanted.

"Bloody hell, what are you talking about?" Stephen asked loudly. "Who's the Queen? Are you talking about h-her?"

Doug beamed and nodded slightly as they were on the catwalks of Aperture. They followed him around the facility for about an hour before they found the room.

"AI Central Control Chamber, Wait why are we here? Won't this lead us right to her?" Stephen screamed.

"Fact: You are about to get us killed." Craig said calmly.

"Don't worry the Angel will save us." Doug said, still grinning ear to ear. He opened the door and walked in, without a care in the world.

"Oh look. You came to me this time, how thoughtful. Now I get to see you die in person." The AI sneered "And this time, that adopted tub of lard gets to enjoy the end with you." A claw lowered down to show Chell in it's grasp. She writhed around, trying to dislodge herself from the claw. Soon the noxious green gas filled the room and a countdown with 5:00:00 minutes started.

"Neurotoxin countdown: Begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." The mainframe announced. Chell was then dropped to the floor as everyone rushed to her side.

"And I'll even give you a chance and let you keep your ASHPD. For real this time, I am not even being sarcastic. Not that you'll need it, being there are no portal surfaces." GLaDOS said calmly.

"Are you ok, luv?" Stephen asked concerned for her. Chell nodded and smiled. She got up clutching her Portal gun.

"SPACE! Wanna go. Wanna go to Space!" Neil screeched, running around flailing his arms around.

"I think this thing is broken. It keeps saying It won't be enough." Rick shouted over the chaos in the room. "What won't be enough?"

"This. The Queen has to much power now." Doug giggled. He then put the cube down and sat, stroking the edge lovingly.

"I know plug me in, make a core transfer!" The Interview Core said loudly. No one was particularly fond of the idea, but there was nothing else to do.

"Ha ha. Clearly I haven't told you of the renovations I made. There no longer is a Core Transfer Receptacle. There isn't even a Stalemate Resolution button anymore." GLaDOS laughed. "Good luck with that plan.

"Crap!" The Core swore. "Well, at least I'm not human."

Chell started looking around quickly, glancing at everything, every nook and cranny, until she saw the broken window. It led to the interior of an office, if only she could get in… She grabbed the Interview Core from Stephen and lobbed it at the window, shattering it. Sprinting over the shards of glass, she leapt in. She found it, the Neurotoxin Override Controls. The others had followed her in.

"Ok, being a master hacker and all, I think I can do this. Very simple, four digit code." He muttered as he typed furiously. "Ok. ABCD." A buzzer went off. "No, umm. 1234." _Buzz_. "Oh, 0000." _Buzz_. "Well um, 1980." _Beep_. "Oh, wow , it uh, it worked. Ok then" He said, rubbing his hair.

"Neurotoxin Emitters: Offline." The mainframe announced. We cheered loudly. "Rocket Sentry Turrets: Online."

"Aw, what?" Stephen exclaimed. "Th-that's not even fair!"

"I see you've shut down my neurotoxin. Again." GLaDOS paused. "Well, I've come more prepared this time, and I hope you have as well."

Chell started typing furiously. _'Hit Her with a paradox. Have the bots tune it out.'_

"Brilliant, luv" Wheatley beamed.

"Yeah, sure are, pretty lady." Rick paused, "But which one?"

"Space, it's too crowded!" Neil screamed.

"Not now Nei-" Rick stopped.

"Genetic Life-form and Disk Operating System: Offline. Involuntary shutdown procedures: Online."

"Really, it was that easy?" Rick mumbled. "Well, what do you think, Interview Core?"

"…"

"Hello?" Rick asked cautiously.

"Voluntary Shutdown: Successful." The Core announced. "Voluntary Reboot procedure: Initializing."

"Oh, bloody hell." Stephen exhaled. "That could have been bad."

"Voluntary Reboot procedure: Commencing." It paused for a moment. "Voluntary Reboot procedure: Failed."

"No! Spacey?" Neil cried out.

"But, why? It shouldn't have happened to him, if anything it should've been me." Jerry choked up, "At least he's large enough to see." He cried out from Craig's hand.

"Commencing Involuntary Permanent Shutdown: Successful."

**A/N: Sadly, It's the end. Not only that, but it was a sad end. I cannot believe I just killed the Interview Core. GLaDOS was right, I am a horrible person. Don't hate me, it just can't go on forever. *Sobs* I know, I've tried, it's very difficult. But I am going to do a prequel to this, with Portal characters. There will be yet another Questionnaire, and the Interview Core will be avenged! Read and Review!**


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